The Cheap Stuff

INT. TARGET–NIGHT.

Mike and I stroll the aisles, stocking up for the week. Mike pushes Jude in the shopping cart while I follow along beside them.

Me: Can you think of anything else you need?

Mike: Yeah. Shampoo.

Me: (heading over to the aisle containing the Pantene as if programmed to do so) You’re happy with your brand? (I pull the 25.4 ounce bottle from the shelf.)

Mike: (unconvincingly) Yeah–well…

Me: What is it?

Mike: Well, where do they keep the cheap stuff?

Me: (confused) This is $5.86. We buy it once a year, if that. How much cheaper would you like it to be?

Mike: Where do they keep the Prell?

Me: (furrowed brow) Be serious!

Mike: I am. Where is the Pert Plus?

Me: (walking away) Stop it!

I head to an aisle containing tissues and other paper products, assuming Mike has followed me. I turn to say something and find that he and Jude are nowhere to be found. I peek around the corner to find Mike wandering the shampoo aisles.

Me: What are you doing?

Mike: Looking for the cheap stuff.

Me: (indicating the Pantene) This is the cheap stuff. After taxes, you’re spending what? A little over fifty cents a month?

Mike: But where do they keep the cheap stuff?

Me: (biting knuckles) Arrrrrgh.

We walk towards the grocery aisles with Mike still mumbling about Pert Plus.

Mike: Hey, do you mind if I get myself a Red Bull.

Me: (aloud) No. Of course not. (In head) $2.00 for 8 ounces?

Sigh.

END SCENE.

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3 Responses to The Cheap Stuff

  1. marinasleeps says:

    ha ha
    I feel like I am Mike and you are my husband.

  2. Nicole says:

    HA, HA! I totally needed this laugh… This post had me in hysterics. LOVED it! :)

  3. Barbara Mattson says:

    As always a great story! I know what you mean even though I get the cheap stuff and reading your point makes more sense.

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