Mike and I stroll the aisles, stocking up for the week. Mike pushes Jude in the shopping cart while I follow along beside them.
Me: Can you think of anything else you need?
Mike: Yeah. Shampoo.
Mike: (unconvincingly) Yeah–well…
Me: What is it?
Mike: Well, where do they keep the cheap stuff?
Me: (confused) This is $5.86. We buy it once a year, if that. How much cheaper would you like it to be?
Mike: Where do they keep the Prell?
Me: (furrowed brow) Be serious!
Mike: I am. Where is the Pert Plus?
Me: (walking away) Stop it!
I head to an aisle containing tissues and other paper products, assuming Mike has followed me. I turn to say something and find that he and Jude are nowhere to be found. I peek around the corner to find Mike wandering the shampoo aisles.
Me: What are you doing?
Mike: Looking for the cheap stuff.
Me: (indicating the Pantene) This is the cheap stuff. After taxes, you’re spending what? A little over fifty cents a month?
Mike: But where do they keep the cheap stuff?
Me: (biting knuckles) Arrrrrgh.
We walk towards the grocery aisles with Mike still mumbling about Pert Plus.
Mike: Hey, do you mind if I get myself a Red Bull.
Me: (aloud) No. Of course not. (In head) $2.00 for 8 ounces?